OK wow. I’ve been leading a very inspired life these few weeks as I ready for my trip to South East Asia. I’m taking off on June 23 to spend a month traveling in Thailand, Cambodia and Laos. Even though it’s just a few weeks away, the trip is really occupying a distant space in my mind as everything else is seemingly coming together.
Many of you know I’ve had a crazy few months. Between a frightening internet stalker situation and leaving my job, my life has been a bit in turmoil. Through chaos comes clarity, it seems, as I’ve been coming to a lot of realizations about what I want from my life. But how do I get there? With so many interests and opportunities, I feel pulled in too many directions. How can I pursue my interests in the way that is best for me? How can I be truest to myself and make the decisions that will best help me become the person I want to be? How can I utilize whatever skills I have to create the broadest impact (outwardly and inwardly)? Every decision weighs heavily. At the very least, I’ve known for a while that I need a fresh start. In a lot of ways, that’s what the trip to Asia is about. I need to disconnect for a bit, give myself a chance to slow down, and most importantly reframe how I’m looking at the world and my place in it.
The funny thing about making a fresh start is that it’s a long process. And I finally feel like I’m getting somewhere. Interestingly, the very act of booking my flight to Bangkok has forced things into perspective for me. I’m creating an internal list of questions and goals. But I’m not pressuring myself to figure out all the answers just yet. After all, I’m about to leave the country for a month. I’m not expecting some life-changing revelation as I float down river in Laos. But I’m leaving the possibility open. By allowing myself some time to not have answers (this is new for me), I’m exploring my options more openly than I ever have before. And almost on their own, my long list of projects and ideas are fitting themselves into the larger themes I’m outlining for myself.
As I look forward to my trip, I look even further to my return. I’m preparing myself for the work ahead while still leaving the specifics open. I’m meeting with amazing people and accepting the advice from friends. I feel like I’m putting the tools in place that I will need to really get shit done when I return to the country. Still, right now, it’s about questions more than answers. I’m not sure I can explain to you how out of character this is for me. And I’m not even sure I’m explaining this well at all. Allow me to use today an example.
I just returned from an amazing meeting. I accepted the meeting with a friend of a friend who was looking to pick my brain about online video. It started out just like any other meeting but it turned into something much more. We talked about our various projects and how to make them successful. We talked about tools and marketing and financing and networking and putting in place the necessary steps for a successful media project. But then we talked about WHY we’re doing this. We talked about what it is in us that makes us want to create things and to tell stories. We talked about the fundamental connection between people that is created and reflected through story-telling. We talked about not taking ourselves too seriously and about removing the ego from the project. And this happened on Sunset Blvd in Hollywood.
By setting aside the details and the specific to-do lists for my atheism project until after I get back from Asia, I’ve given myself the openness that allowed for this discussion to happen. What could have been a very productive meeting between two smart and driven people about their respective video projects turned into a real human connection and conversation about why we’re doing them in the first place. And I gotta tell you, my perspective on the project has changed.
I’ve been discussing this project with a lot of people for quite some time now. And I will take this moment to thank you all for participating. I feel incredibly lucky to have such thoughtful and generous friends. Anyway, one of things that keeps coming up is the fact that atheism is defined negatively. Atheism is not a worldview. Fundamentally, it is a rejection. It is a rejection of religion as a divisive social force and a barrier to true human connection and understanding. I think that rejection is incredibly important for the survival and evolution of our species. But how do you engage passion around rejection? My wise meeting partner said, “Why do you think both sides of the abortion debate define themselves as Pro-something? You’re either pro-life or you’re pro-choice.” You can’t create a positive movement by alienating people. The fundamental problem with religion is that it sets groups of humanity apart from other groups. By accepting any God as the true God, you are REJECTING everyone else. Atheism rejects this rejection. But people want to be positive. They want to say they believe in something, not that they don’t believe in something. Atheism is a necessary first step for real humanism but humanism is the real goal. This is WHY I’m doing this.
So how do you encourage real humanism? What is it about the church experience that makes people feel connected to their community? How can atheism provide this same sense of connection? It’s all about personal exploration – looking deeply inside yourself and the inevitable discovery that we are all connected. It’s about turning the heavenly gaze inward and finding love and human respect. This is the story I want to tell.
The work of Sam Harris and Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens is incredibly important at this moment. They are shedding light on the social ills wrought by religion and raising questions about faith in a very public way. But it’s a top-down approach. They’re presenting a global view of religion as a social construct and not really addressing the personal relationship people have with their faith. I think we need to hit the issue from all sides. And now I’m thinking about how to use the more personal approach.
Comments encouraged…
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
I agree wholeheartedly with needing to define atheism in a positive term, not a negative. It’s not so much that we’re NON-theists and we ARE naturalists, realists, humanists and so on. As long we define ourselves as what we are NOT, we are playing on the other guy’s golf course. There is so much to be positive about in embracing the real world, the natural world. Let’s not allow the Santa Claus believers to define the conversation. We need to carry the play and put them on the defensive.
Can’t wait to hear more.
Joe
i just started reading Richard Dawkins’ The God Delusion and one thing that struck me in his Preface (I love Prefaces) was his description of the psychiatric community’s reaction to what he was calling “delusion:” he mentioned several psychiatrists were uncomfortable with the use of a word that has been used technically by psychiatrists to define a psychiatric phenomenon as just a word describing a phenomenon that isn’t described as a psychiatric problem: namely, religion. Some suggested a new term altogether: “relusion.” I thought that was idiotic. AND symptomatic. Of both sides of the oldest debate- is there (a) God.
I really like what you are saying and I wonder about the same things in terms of what’s so nasty about atheism and what makes me feel secure, part of a community, yet self-questioning without a belief in any god while good friends of mine find all those things , too, with a belief and loyalty to their “relusion.”
Good luck with the project and enjoy your trip! I wish you at least life-changing revelation, if it happens.
Nothing like jamming several longwinded posts worth of ideas into one, and concisely at that! I think there’s two major themes here both of which are endlessly interesting, at least to me, and at least right now.
The first is the idea of the questions verses answers thing. We’ve talked about this before but for a rather long time I used to read quotes like “it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey” and snicker to myself because I wanted to get to the destination as quick as possible, know every detail of the journey ahead of time and had very little patience with any of that changing after the fact. I liked to know the end result before I got started so I had nothing to worry about down the line. I’m typing that and I can’t think of anything further from the truth right now. Part of this rewiring I’m going through has focused on that very greatly and I’ve been forcing myself to just let go. I don’t know the answers. I barely know the questions. I don’t know the destination and I’m really enjoying the journey and completely comfortable with, maybe even excited with the idea that I don’t know where I’m headed but letting whatever happen happen and see when it leads. I’m already rambling but I think theres serious value to this kind of thinking. It’s certainly something I wish I’d opened up to long ago.
Atheism as a positive element is a whole other flaming ball of cardboard, so to speak and the pro/anti point is a very good one. It’s all about the spin. As I kid I was into the antagonistic approach which is great for annoying teachers and family members, but not so great at getting people who don’t already agree with you to listen to what you have to say. I’m echoing a bit of what you already said here but I think that is one of the reasons your project is so important. Not just finding, but highlighting and pointing out the positivity that comes from not being suckered by fairy tales is something so important. Making judgment calls in your life based on what the fantasy of someone who has been dead hundreds of years is a negative thing, being able to objectively look at things and make a judgment because you are smart enough to know right from wrong is a positive. In the same way that the age of reason pretty much wiped out “prophets” I think we’re finally getting to a point where people can have these kinds of discussions in public and people are beginning to listen and think about what is being said. This is important stuff and I’m beyond excited to see where you take it.
Great thoughts. It’s funny…I don’t consider “everyone being connected” as an atheist idea at all. It’s the basis of my religious/spiritual beliefs. Maybe its all in the definition of god. Or maybe I need to read more. Have an amazing journey! (HUG)
@ Halcyon, that’s a whole other discussion which I also hope to address. I’ve done so a little bit on this blog. The word “God” is inseparable from religion. I’m not discounting spiritual experience at all. I do think we need to move past the idea of God, however as it conjures up all sorts of social prejudices built on false beliefs. I think it’s false to separate our spirituality from our physical reality. It is that very “otherness” of God that makes it dangerous.
i met tupac’s mom once, and she said she spent so much of her life being against shit. she was ANIT racism, and ANTI sexism, and anti this and anti that. and it just led her to frustration and depression and addiction, because it felt so impossible to change all of it. no matter what she did it was always there somehow. so she said after she got clean she decided instead to be FOR shit. she talked about how she had started this community center for kids in south central. they teach art and performance and writing and all sorts of other stuff, and it’s established as gang neutral territory ( i guess when you’re tupac’s mama you actually can arrange such a thing). and she said, being ANTI will make you feel completely impotent because it’s always so big, and it feels impossible to surmout, but being FOR makes you feel like you actually CAN accomplish something. she knew she wouldn’t be able to fix the whole gang problem in south central, she said, but she WOULD help to make some kids’ lives better. and that was what she was after all along.
1. Luang Prabang!
2. As an atheist, I admit to being jealous of the organized and regular community of a church. Perhaps the popularity of myspace and craigslist is due to the lack of community that so many unbelievers face. There’s an opportunity here.
3. Religion should not be conflated with a belief in God. Durkheim, the father of sociology, taught that (roughly) religion simply preserves an existing order by defining sacred acts or symbols that reinforce the the order. Thus, the church and its rites are the core of modern religion, not God. Also, nationalism could be considered a form of religion, even if the nationalists were atheists (which has often been the case).
Perhaps we really just want to feel that we belong to a community that doesn’t need to be reinforced by rites or sacred cows: a community that is supportive, natural, rational.
I’ve never been out to convert anyone, or un-convert anyone, but I find my faith stronger than it has ever been lately! As a Buddhist, I get to celebrate Atheism Week too.
I like to ask religious people the question: “What if there IS a heaven, but EVERYONE gets in? Would that make you angry?” I find that the reaction is very telling. How quickly those who otherwise profess forgiveness and compassion turn selfish about their eternal reward. There HAS to be a day of reckoning, you see. And that’s precisely where I think that ego-consciousness re-invented a God to serve itself. The need for justice, judgment, and separateness is that of the ego, along with fear, hate, insecurity, and violence. Our true nature contains nothing of the kind.
My dad is reading Dawkins right now, and although I agree with my father’s assessment that religion can be destructive, divisive, and toxic, I am increasingly positive in my own practice that there is an eternal source to this dream that we are living. We are more than steak. At the subatomic level, the answer is yes, and the real delusion is that we are separate in any way.
I particularly like the Native American saying: “There is no tree that has branches foolish enough to fight amongst themselves.”
Hi, been lurking for a while (don’t worry promise I won’t stalk… much). Intersting post and lots of points. I want to say a couple of things but I presume they will come out in further posts as you expand your thought but you’ve got me thinking about the whole god / religion / spiritual divides (or not). Personally I blame it on the greeks for dividing the ‘flesh’ and the ’soul’
Hope the trip preparations go well and your journey refreshes you.
“It is that very “otherness” of God that makes it dangerous.”
I love that way of putting it.
From one atheist blogger to another, I’m looking forward to hearing more on what you have planned, and ready to help in any way I can.
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“The fundamental problem with religion is that it sets groups of humanity apart from other groups.”
this is simply not true. That’s the problem of many churches (institutionalized religions), yes. But not the religion per se. Or at least not the problem of the “believe system”. The fundamental problem of the religion, however is that it is social concept. Religion should be a personal thing because having millions of people believing in something does not make it more or less true. Atheism itself is as fundamentalistic as any religion can be. Rejection of something or acceptance due to a believe is not a part of a scientific method and also is not a part of a true spiritual experience.
Now, what’s a real humanism? And how does it work in a simple moral-test scenarios. Like: “you are standing on some shore and at the same distance left and right from you your mother and father are drowning, there is enough time to save only one person, considering that you love them equally who would you save”. This is very primitive and maybe provocative, but if think about it for a while it shows the flawed nature of many concepts.
it sounds like you’re finding your way, that’s awesome.
Can’t wait to see you again!!!
I just want to say, this conversation is very nourishing.
Is anyone familiar with M-theory? I am, only through a show on Discovery Science.
But the idea that our 11-dimensional existence is all connected by a membrane is very powerful, and even… spiritual?
Hey Chuck – I’m fairly familiar with M-theory. At least, I’m familiar enough to help out with some basic questions. I hope I can educate a little. But remember, that M-theory is still speculative – the math behind it is “cool” and suggestive, but there is *no* evidence for it.
The 11-dimensions you are talking about are mostly hidden. The 3 dimensions of space and the 4th dimension of time are what we see. The other 7 dimensions are “compact” and small. By compact, I mean they wrap around on each other; so, if you travel in one direction, you come back to where you started. By small, I mean so tiny that as a human you wouldn’t even notice you moved when you travel round the other dimensions…. they are nearly imperceptible, except that it is their presence give rise to things like electricity and magnetism.
As for the membrane idea, realize that there most likely is not a single membrane that connects us all. The “branes”, as they are called, are actually fancier versions of strings from string theory. (M-theory is really just a bigger version of string theory.) One thing that branes do is provide a place for the end-points of strings to stick. Not all strings will stick to branes, though…
As for the post – thought provoking. Micki – it sounds like you are approaching an identity crisis of some mild sort. Seems like people have these every decade or so. I remember when I went through one during high school, and another more recently. I think everyone changes everyday, but occassionally a lot of things build up and then suddenly shift your worldview and priorities. Usually it’s an event – maybe having kids… maybe an accident…. maybe going on a long trip. You’ve chosen a long trip!
And when you get back, good luck with your atheism project. I’m new around these parts, so I’m excited to learn more about it and see it unfold. Personally, I don’t like the idea of atheism as a rejection. A lot of religion seems like fabrication, where atheism seems to see truth in more logical and rational ways. Atheists don’t “prune” (i.e. reject) away other belief systems; we start with simple ideas and build upon them. In most ways, an atheist is very accepting, so long as the idea is rooted in fact.
The trip to South East Asia will certainly be a change…
Everytime I have been to that part of the world I always return with something better, let it be a refreshed piece of mind or an enlightening conversation I had during the trip…there is some kinda of magic in that part of the world…
interesting report from the ford foundation’s center for future media
http://www.centerforsocialmedia.org/files/pdf/good_bad_confusing.pdf
Presents findings from a survey of independent producers of online video content. Examines producers’ attitudes toward copyright, assumptions and knowledge about their use of others’ intellectual property, and their stake in their own.
Have a lovely tour, Micki. I’ll warn you ahead of time that visiting Thailand may convince you to convert to Buddhism– the Thais are a lovely, soulful people, and their religious faith is a strong part of that. I’m not religious, but visiting Thailand helped my shaped of religion’s role in the world. In my take, it’s a kind of poetry that expresses hardwired, evolutionarily beneficial social functions (morals, family bonds, and so on) into more tangible and evocative metaphors that strengthen cultural cohesion and individual resilience. On that view, Thai Buddhism is among the most lyrical. (That’s also one reason why Dawkins et. al. generally rub me the wrong way: while I agree with them on the particulars, it’s also fairly clear they’re tone deaf and Philistine to this poetry. And so often times, it seems less like they’re speaking truth to power, and more like they’re standing up in the middle of a hushed recital and shouting, “But I don’t get it!”)
I see what you’re saying with atheism not being a worldview, but I have to disagree. It is not necessarily a worldview in and of itself, but I think that the outlook and philosophies it engenders definitely are. My own outlook is inextricably linked to atheism–I believe in the goodness of humanity (although that seems to be quite a leap of faith for me a lot of the time), I believe in the power of science to explain the things that we still don’t understand, I believe in my own moral and ethical code, I believe in admiring the wonder and beauty of the natural universe in all its complexity.
My identity and my worldview are based on atheism. Lack of belief in a deity leads me to believe in many other things that I can see, hear, feel, and understand. Atheism isn’t a worldview in and of itself, but I think that most atheists base so much on their lack of belief in a deity that it does form the foundation.
Does that make any sense to anyone?